2008-11-14 14:06:59

Migration between operating systems or countries

I noticed today that sometimes there are serious parallels in migration between operating systems, just as there are between different countries.

Windows, for example, is somewhat like Germany. It will confront you with a large amount of bureaucracy in order to approve your immigration, and will sometimes refuse it claiming blatantly that you're a terrorist. If problems arise, you have to find someone to pay to fix them, who will usually be an immigrant. On the other hand, it lets go of you rather easily. If you attempt to immigrate into other operating systems, it may force you to choose either one.

MacOS (Versions 10, earlier and later) can be compared to the US. You have to be rich enough to immigrate in the first place. Your appartment comes with a record of the latest speech of the President himself. When you're finally there, everyone will keep iterating how everything is shiny, but looking out into the streets you quickly realize that there are many things seriously wrong. Despite borrowing various things from other countries (the Statue of Liberty is a glamorous example), they aren't really connected. Nevertheless, everyone will tell you how much they believe in their country. When emigrating, you're declared to be one of the greedy Germans, no matter where you go.

Solaris is like the british empire. When you immigrate, you first have to come to a much higher level. But then you are granted access to the most high-valued ressources of the entire Empire, and the Lords themselves will invite you to discuss their matters with them. When leaving, a message of regret is sent after you.

Linux is very much comparable to China. If you immigrate, you're greeted at first glance, but as soon as you start to critizise, you are outlawed. People will hate you, you may even be detained. People will try to prevent you from speaking at all. Once you try emigration, you will be chased until the end of the world by people trying to bring you back to the motherland.

OpenBSD, on the other hand, is a lot like Finland. You are welcome to join the country, but don't expect anyone to approach you with immigration forms. During your life, you will have to fix a lot of things on your own, and if you're doing that well, people will whisper words of thank to you when they're sure nobody listens. In the end, however, if you emigrate, everyone will say it's good riddance. (But most will not mean it.)

NetBSD has very strong parallels to Greece. You are welcomed warm-heartedly and people will bring cookies and other food and hard drinks. You're being asked by emigrated brits if you would care for tea. During your life, everyone keeps making jokes about problems, and one day someone comes up and fixes it. Since the majority of inhabitants is old and bearded, you use to meet for sitting on a bench and laughing benevolently about the mistakes of your own and other countries. People are assoicated with the things they do, if you need help in a specific area there is always a Mister or Miss Specific Area, who will be rather difficult to get hold of. Sometimes you're even referred to the wrong Mister Specific Area, because most of the time their name is Matt. When emigrating, people give you presents for the way and don't worry, as they know you will return either way.

Posted by Tonnerre Lombard | Permanent link | File under: general